Health editor turned ‘Miss Fit:’ Addressing my inner emotional eater

SDNN’s health and wellness editor, Jennifer Reed, is on a journey toward a better body. For the next month, she will join Fitness Quest 10 trainer Anna Renderer and a group of “Miss Fit’s” in a women’s boot camp program, journaling her success along the way. Four weeks. Three days a week. Bright and early.

Day Two:  Nov. 30, 2009

I had a painful Thanksgiving-literally.  Pain in my hamstrings and biceps.  Pain when I sat down.  Pain when I stood up.  Every muscle in my body ached.

I missed boot camp due to holiday commitments on Wednesday and Friday last week.  I popped some Advil and welcomed the relaxation.  My group trainer, Anna, suggested that I keep myself moving over the long weekend.  If I could have, I would have.

As Monday morning-or night, as 4:30 a.m. was previously known to me-rolled around, I pulled the covers over my head and tried to convince myself that I was really doing this.  I went through the same routine frequently in college.  I’d lie in bed half awake and consider which was more important: sleep or my 8 a.m. class.  I almost always decided to be well-rested than well-educated.  But I wasn’t in college anymore.  I couldn’t be the girl who gave up after one class.  I was better than that.

I had forgotten, however, that getting out of bed would not be my only challenge today.  As I shoved my cold feet into slippers and dragged myself to the bathroom, I saw it.  There, in my to-do-after-Thanksgiving pile was the Miss Fit binder Anna had given me a week ago.

I knew from the beginning that diet and nutrition would be a part of this program.  Exercise alone, Anna said, would not cut it.  But in the midst of insanely early mornings, a new and challenging workout program, an editing job and a life at home, I had somehow let food slip my mind.  Since starting the boot camp, my usual dining routine of rolled tacos with guacamole and In-N-Out burgers had not faltered.  It was, in fact, moving full speed ahead.

I took a deep breath, winced, and opened the folder.

Inside were instructions for “The Lifetime Cleanse,” the dietary guidelines I was supposed to be following.  I had known people who had “cleansed” before-they always felt “amazing” afterward.  Maybe I could feel amazing too.

I kept an open mind as I read the page titled, “Rules and Regulations.”  I found the rules concerning what I was allowed to eat very do-able.  Three small meals and two snacks a day, three servings of vegetables, two servings of fruit and two liters of water.  Done and done, I thought.

The restrictions were not as easy to swallow.  No fast food.  No fried food.  No frozen food.  No soda and no alcohol.  No junk food.  And, by the way, if you can’t grow it, it’s junk.

Woah, woah, woah. As far as I knew, chips and salsa never sprang up out of the ground.  Neither did sourdough bread.  Or butter.  Or my favorite kids’ cereal.

Well, there goes my entire food regimen.

My mind reeled and immediately refused the new information.  No.  No way. I had never even so much as tried a diet in my entire life.  Food was a pleasure I just couldn’t give up.

Related story:  Health editor turned ‘Miss Fit:’ Getting out of the ’skinny’ state of mind

No more In-N-Out?  What about all the taco shops?  These are Californian institutions we’re talking about. And pizza night?  No more pizza night?

I imagined myself living off of celery and water.  Those around me would have hell to pay for my crankiness.  Nope, couldn’t do it.  I wouldn’t do it.

Like so many others, food is a source of comfort for me.  It can heal everything from a bad day to a breaking heart.  That’s not to say the trend isn’t dangerous-there are plenty of emotional eaters out there who are risking their health for comfort they should be getting elsewhere, and that is a serious problem.  Still, I couldn’t help but wonder.

Would an apple heal me the same way a pint of ice cream did?  Would a bag of baby carrots or a handful of blueberries fill my stomach with the same warmth and satisfaction as a bowl of Mom’s chicken and dumplings?  I feared not.

Using the guidelines in the text, I categorized myself as “Out of shape & Inactive,” meaning that I am overweight by 20 pounds, more or less (Really?!  Wow!) and I don’t get enough exercise.  The number scared me, but I knew I was guilty on at least one account.

Next, I reviewed the grocery list.

Broccoli.  Veto.  It has never been so much the taste as the texture, like eating carpet.  Next.

Carrots.  Okay.  Next.

Cauliflower.  Again with the carpet.

Mushrooms.  Fungus.  Veto.

Sigh.

I thought about the sausage McMuffins I occasionally treated myself to as I made my way out the door for my second-what would be everyone else’s fourth-day of class.

I left my boyfriend lying snugly under my down comforter in the dim morning light and silently cursed him.

He gets to sleep peacefully for another three hours, I thought.  And he can eat whatever he wants.

This morning’s session was not less difficult than the first, but it was somehow much easier.  I took my time and did not exert myself beyond my limits, knowing that those limits would grow in time.

I realized that my eating habits, too, might mature in time if I only gave them a chance.

I decided mid-stretch that I would employ a sub-experiment of my fitness project.  This week, I would eat normally.  I would record my food intake and take inventory of my physical feelings of wellness.  Next week, I would cleanse.

Maybe, just maybe, this wouldn’t be so hard after all.

Jennifer Reed is SDNN’s health and wellness editor.  She can be reached at jennifer.reed(at)sdnn.com.

Tags: "Miss Fit" Boot Camp, "The Lifetime Cleanse", Anna Renderer, cleanse, exercise, fitness, Fitness Quest 10, Jennifer Reed, nutrition, SDNN

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