Alison DaRosa, SDNN Travel Editor

Air travel is no fun - and it gets worse the longer it lasts.

At this Thanksgiving Week moment, I’m writing from Row 23, Seat F, on United Airlines’  8:35 p.m.  flight from Chicago to San Diego. I don’t have the worst seat on the plane; that belongs to the guy behind me in the middle seat of the torturous no-recline-at-all last row.

Still, I’m cursing the person in Seat 22-F, who can recline - and does - smack into my laptop, shoving the keyboard up under my chin and half-closing its cover.  I nudge (ok, shove) back, but she’s unrelenting. Her sucker surge causes her seat to creak - and my laptop screen to flicker. She clearly has the advantage, so I resort to typing under my chin with my fingers pretzeled into the 45-degree opening she’s allowed my laptop.

It’s my second flight of the day.

On the nine-hour flight from London to Chicago, I popped at the gate for one of United’s “Economy Plus” seats - with the promise of  “up to” five more inches of legroom. I paid 59 pounds (about $100) for the space - 20 bucks an inch.   The seat was standard-issue narrow - and the guy sitting next to me was bangers-and-mash beefy. We arm wrestled for elbow space during three in-flight movies.  Still, it was probably worth it: My laptop was out of harm’s way on my seatback tray - even when the guy in front of me reclined.

A class society

“Why do U.S. airlines rub our noses in it?” Josh Criswell wondered aloud.  Criswell, who works for Nexus Biosystems in Poway, had the middle seat in row 23 on my Chicago/San Diego flight.

He was talking about how on international flights, most U.S. airlines parade us coach-class peasants past the private islands of first-class flyers, giving us plenty of time to inspect how the Haves live - and sleep - in fully reclining beds, with personal wide-screen TVs and minibars. How they’re welcomed aboard with flutes of bubbling champagne and chilled washcloths.

Then they provide a tour of Business, where there are many more cubicles, slightly smaller and less lavish than first class, but still with seats that recline into flat beds. We note a few passengers opening amenity kits packed with sleep masks, toothbrushes and paste, lip balm, slipper socks…

It’s tougher to recognize anything much different in the Economy Plus section - they’re just airline seats, afterall.  But the difference become clear as the space between seats disappears in the bottom-rung economy section. Suddenly there are many more peas in the pod.

There's not much room for sweet dreams in Economy Class on United's overnight flight to London. (Photo by Alison DaRosa)

With fewer planes in the skies these days, most flights are packed to the gills.  (United had overbooked, and bounced a half dozen or so very angry would-be passengers on the Chicago/London leg of my trip.)  But that’s not always the case.

During the long march to the back of the plane, peons occasionally notice an empty upper-class seat or two. Comfortable seats going unused.  Why aren’t the airlines smart enough to tap a poor peasant or two and whisk them into those empty seats?

Friendly Skies?  Walk the talk, guys.  That’s a goodwill gesture that would inspire real loyalty.

International favorites

“I usually fly Lufthansa,” said Criswell, who often works in Europe for Nexus Biosystems. “Their coach seats are comparable to what U.S. airlines pass off as first class on domestic flights. The seats lean way farther back, they’re wider and there’s more legroom.

“There’s a TV that’s right at your seat and it’s that size,” he said, pointing to the drop-down screen that four rows of us shared on our Chicago/San Diego flight. “There’s a cup holder right beside your screen, so you’ve got more space on your drop-down tray - and you’re not going to spill on your work or yourself.

“Plus, European airlines seem much more civilized,” he added, noting that there’s no marching through upper class neighborhoods to get to the seats for the masses.

“When you board, the upper classes are directed to the left,” he said. “The rest of us go right.”

Final indignity

There is, alas, one more hazard linked to seats at the back of the plane. We are the last off the airliner. A few years back, again on United, I missed a connection in Atlanta to Toronto - because my “legal connection” timing hadn’t factored in how long it would take me to get off the plane from my far-end seat.  That mistake cost me six hours of waiting for the next flight to Toronto.

I didn’t worry about that on my Chicago/San Diego flight, because I had nowhere to go but home.

It was close to 11 p.m. by the time the last of us back-of-the-bus stragglers made it off the plane. I had the upper level women’s restroom to myself when I stopped to freshen up before meeting my husband who was on his way to pick me up out front.

The terminal seemed eerily deserted as I made my way down the escalator.

I noted that no one was manning security.

Then I saw that a floor-to-ceiling gate had been drawn across the exit. I was caged.  A prisoner. The long journey home hadn’t quite ended.

Tags: business class, chicago, Economy Plus, First class, london, Lufthansa, middle seats, Nexus Biosystems, SDNN, Uncategorized, United

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 at 2:25 pm and is filed under Trippin. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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