Salm: Damn, the Chargers won again.

Arthur Salm is an SDNN columnist.

Not that I enjoy walking around with a “KICK ME” sign taped to my back or anything, but I wince every time the Chargers pull one out, and indulge in a so-1980s “YESSSS!” whenever they go down. Which, I’m sure, would be all-in-good-sports-fun acceptable in the intense but benign atmosphere of local fandom; two of my best friends live and die (these days die, mostly) with the Raiders, and are still able to live peaceful San Diego lives.

But I want the Chargers to lose even though I haven’t watched football for years, and couldn’t care less about the NFL or the Pac 10 or bowl games or whatever may be the latest fine-tuning of the rules in the eternal struggle to achieve parity between pass receivers and defenders.  (The only equivalent in the infinitely superior game of baseball — Stop kicking me! What, is there a sign on my back or something? — was the lowering of the pitcher’s mound some 40 years ago.)

I burned out on football one Sunday afternoon in college. It was in the Bay Area; as best I can remember it, my roommate and I watched the 49ers game, then a college game, then “This Week in the NFL,” then “This week in the AFL,” then a show on Raiders highlights, then a show on 49ers highlights. I staggered to my bed, collapsed — and all night long was unable to stop the football images playing across my mindscreen.

And I haven’t watched football since, except during that giddy, transcendent era when Dan Fouts made it irresistible. Fourth and one on your opponent’s 40-yard-line? Throw the ball! Third and inches on your own 11? Throw the ball! Yeah! I reveled in exactly the kind of superficial, go-for-cheap-thrills attitude I despise when I see it in a baseball fan.

So what’s with wanting to see the Chargers lose, Salm?

Well, I reckon that the greater the Chargers’ success, the more vulnerable bedazzled San Diegans will be to a sucker deal in which we cough up tax dollars or public land and services — and more likely all three — to keep the team from moving to City of Industry or Kuwait City or Caprica City* or wherever. The Spanos family — not as rich as God but probably members of the same country clubs — wants the team to make more money, though damned if I can figure out what they want to buy that they can’t buy already. Still, that’s their right. And they can best fatten up the bottom line by feeding it more revenue from a new stadium, one better-designed to accommodate corpulent corporate cats and no-questions-asked expense-account types.

See related: Escondido Chargers? Stadium search is a moving target |  Salm: Lose the Chargers? No loss at all

Now, the Spani (or is it, Spanoses?) can certainly afford to build a stadium to house their team, but they’d be damned fools to foot the whole bill if they can snooker someone else into ponying up for a good part of it. That someone else would be, collectively, us. And we’d better do it, or else: If you don’t build it, we will go.

Chargers fans before the Oakland game. (Photo by Jesse Arroyo/Chargers.com)

So go, already. The Chargers are a small, if big-money company that contributes little to San Diego’s economy. They employ relatively few people, and many of those to whom they pay big salaries don’t even live in the area. Tourists are going to come here and spend money anyway, pro football or no pro football. As for local pride and identity with the team … oh, come now; for that, we citizens lay out hundreds of millions of dollars, even while slashing education, social programs and city services?

Actually, I take back the snarky “So go, already.” It’d be great if the Chargers stayed in San Diego — on their own dime. Or, closer to the mark, on their own ten billion dimes, and not ours.

They might even attract some fans who’ve fallen away from the game. If they make a few personnel changes, that is.

What’s Dan Fouts up to these days?

*”Battlestar Galactica” reference. Sorry.

Arthur Salm is an SDNN columnist. Photo courtesy of Chargers.com.

Tags: AFL, Baseball, billions, City of Industry, Football, new stadium, NFL, Raiders, San Diego Chargers, SDNN, Spanos family, taxpayer

This entry was posted on Monday, November 9th, 2009 at 11:42 am and is filed under Arthur Salm, Chargers, Columns . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.