Darren Sproles needs a nickname: Any ideas?
A player as explosive as Darren Sproles surely deserves a better moniker than "Lightning Bug." (AP Photo/Chris Park)
As a football fan, I enjoy watching Darren Sproles play the game. As a football fan, I haven’t enjoyed hearing a nickname for Sproles that Chargers radio play-by-play announcer Josh Lewin consistently uses.
“Lightning Bug“ isn’t cutting it.
I understand the significance of the moniker: “Lightning” stems from the Chargers insignia; “Bug” refers to 5-foot 6-inch Sproles’ physical size.
But when I hear Sproles referred to as “Lightning Bug,” I wince. It just doesn’t seem like a proper nickname for a professional football player.
Related: More from Salazar | SDNN Chargers coverage
Apparently I’m not the only one hung up on “Lightning Bug”. There’s a Facebook discussion on this topic through Sproles’ Facebook page.
That Facebook page, along with a visit to the Chargers Web site, reveals that Sproles’ longtime nickname is “Tank.” It’s the nickname his parents gave him at birth when he weighed 10 pounds.
Is “Tank” still appropriate now that Sproles weighs in at 185? It’s open for debate, but I will admit that the fact “Tank“ has family roots falls within “Salazar’s Rules for Nicknames.”
Rule No. 1: You cannot make up your own nickname. It’s like providing your own rim shot when you tell a joke. This rule automatically throws a penalty flag in the direction of Shawne Merriman for calling himself “Lights Out.”
Rule No. 2: Nicknames that use initials show no creativity. Sorry about that, LaDainian Tomlinson. Besides that - L.T.; you share a nickname with Lawrence Taylor and for that matter, Liz Taylor. For more proof of how wrong it is to be known by your initials, I bring to your attention: T.O. Enough said.
Rule No. 3: Nicknames need to happen naturally. They can’t be created by a marketing team. Think of the great nicknames in sports: “Babe”, “Iron Man”,” Magic” and “Charlie Hustle” — they just flow from the athlete’s personality or achievements. If the Phillies end up winning the World Series, Chase Utley will be “Mr. November.”
The National Baseball Hall of Fame takes nicknames seriously. If a Hall of Fame member has a nickname, it’s noted for the ages on the plaque. For example, underneath the name Anthony Keith Gwynn, is engraved: “Tony” and “Mr Padre.” Willie Mays is followed by “The Say Hey Kid.”
The Chargers really haven’t had a good history with nicknames. Only a few have stuck over the years: “Bambi”, “Big Hands” and “Speedy” come to mind. I really hope “Lightning Bug” doesn’t join that short list.
There is a reference for Sproles that’s floating out there in cyberspace that I think is perfect. Thanks to the Web site boltsfromtheblue.com for suggesting: “The One Who Isn’t Injured All the Time in the Playoffs.”
What do you think is a proper nickname for Darren Sproles? Feel free to comment below.
Vic Salazar is a veteran San Diego journalist and an SDNN columnist.
Tags: Darren Sproles, SDNN, Vic Salazar
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Comment by: Jim Posted: November 4, 2009, 3:29 pm
How about, “Flashy Sprolesy”
“Slash Sproles”
Comment by: Aron Stern Posted: November 4, 2009, 3:56 pm
The name is an easy decision - Speedo.
Comment by: Bob Fergen Posted: November 4, 2009, 4:17 pm
If you ever hunted jack rabbits the name is obvious
RABBIT!!
Comment by: John in SC Posted: November 4, 2009, 5:36 pm
Since this is a military town, mainly Navy, how about “Fleet Feet”?
Comment by: Norman Ellis-Flint Posted: November 4, 2009, 7:42 pm
Since he seems go by in a “FLASH” ….?
Comment by: Don Holliday Posted: November 4, 2009, 8:30 pm
The proper nickname will come in time. The man has got to last to deserve one. I, also, enjoy watching “Sproles through the holes”…”They didn’t see him coming”…”OH HELLO”!…”Where’d HE
come from”?…”Wiley Coyote after the Roadrunner”…”Surprise, Surprise”!…”Just when you thought your safety was safe”…et al. The nickname will come through the observer’s narrative and the player’s consistency of play. In the meantime, let’s just enjoy watchin’ it happen.
Don Holliday
San Diego
Comment by: virginia pabloff Posted: November 5, 2009, 7:21 am
“Bullet” I like Bullet because he’s like a bullet.
Comment by: furbrain Posted: November 5, 2009, 7:33 am
Change his uniform number to 21 1/2 and call him “Mini Me”.
Comment by: Matt Posted: November 5, 2009, 8:51 am
How about the sprocket rocket.
I’ve heard people calling him the pocket rocket, but I like the sounds of the sprocket rocket better.
Comment by: Jenn Posted: November 5, 2009, 9:08 am
Love watching that Sproles! “Ligntning Bug” is definitely not cutting it, nor is my own personal endearing but not nearly masculine/athletic enough “Running Gnome”. Holliday has it right, look to the announcers and let’s enjoy it!
Comment by: eric.yates Posted: November 5, 2009, 10:13 am
I solved this debate in a column I wrote last year for San Diego Magazine. You gotta click to read, but I promise you it’s better than all of these:
http://www.sandiegomagazine.com/media/San-Diego-Magazine/January-2009/No-43-Has-Flippin-Sweet-Skills/
Comment by: christine Posted: November 5, 2009, 10:26 am
BOLT!
Comment by: eric.yates Posted: November 5, 2009, 10:42 am
Actually Matt, that’s awesome. Good pull.
Comment by: tom Posted: November 5, 2009, 10:44 am
“Spark Plug” or “Sparky” for short
Comment by: Roy Uhl Posted: November 5, 2009, 11:44 am
Heat seeker
Comment by: Fabiana Posted: November 5, 2009, 1:40 pm
After a family discussion, we like the following two, which are not original to us but we like them nonetheless: “Tank” which was his family’s nickname for him; and “Little Big Man” as we have heard TV commentators refer to him. He definitely deserve an awsome nickname, and I hope he gets a great one!
Comment by: Pat Posted: November 5, 2009, 1:53 pm
D’Bolt
Comment by: tim Posted: November 6, 2009, 6:46 am
considering where the Chargers finish every year, and the fact that Sproles is the second-string back, I suggest…
“runner-up”.
Comment by: Bim Posted: November 6, 2009, 9:03 pm
“Light Speed” Sproles!
Comment by: linda Posted: November 8, 2009, 7:35 pm
Sprole Officer
Comment by: linda Posted: November 8, 2009, 7:37 pm
Tanks A Lot
Comment by: Curmudgeon Posted: November 8, 2009, 10:06 pm
My son plays an iPhone game with a name that’s perfect: Pocket Tank.
Comment by: Debbie T. Posted: November 9, 2009, 8:24 am
The Lightning Bug Light’n bug Well you get my drift! You know like lighting bolt. bolts of lightings - Charger bolts…. Or “The Flash” like a flash of lightning?
Comment by: john Posted: November 10, 2009, 12:03 pm
Why don’t we just call him Darren?
Comment by: DZ Posted: November 11, 2009, 10:48 am
He must be regarded as the the Blue Nosed Pit. That’s what I call him. He’s short, stocky, low to the ground, can take a licking and keep on ticking and he’s got that pitbull mentality.
Comment by: field Posted: November 11, 2009, 3:16 pm
Sprocket or Sweet Pea… Or there always is the ironic Bubba or Stretch.
Comment by: erik toraason Posted: November 15, 2009, 11:26 am
Final answer…..Sproles Royce!!!! Make sure you quote me!!!!!
Comment by: paul p Posted: November 19, 2009, 2:26 pm
“Dart”
“Sparks”
“Roll-in”
“Spit Fire”
Comment by: Connie Karsh Posted: November 20, 2009, 11:29 am
Darren “Rollin” Sproles
Comment by: menfi Posted: November 21, 2009, 6:39 am
A nickname that references his size not his attributes is an insult to his talent and ability, e.g. Jake “The Bull” LaMotta would never have been called Jake “Little Big Man” LaMotta. Maybe there’s a reference book out there called The Mafia Guide to Creative Nicknaming?
The wise guys have the best nicknames; in fact “wise guy” is a great nickname in and of itself. I mean how do you beat nicknames like Patty Muscles, Millionaire Charlie, Big Tuna, Bobby Phones, The Dapper Don, The Rifleman, Tommy Sneakers and Jimmy the Weasel? Call Brooklyn. Put the wise guys on it.